Enuff Already

Ok God.  It's just not funny anymore...

Seriously, how much can one person fucking take???
You say you will never give more than one can handle.  Have you taken a look at me lately?  I'm 5 freaking feet tall, and weigh  under 120.  My fucking shoulders only span 15 inches.  How much more weight can be added before I fall?!?  I am tired.  So very fucking tired.  I am tired of carrying the weight of everyone else.  For once, I want someone to carry me.  Just for a little while. 
The voice in my head is getting louder every day.  I can not control him for much longer.  I can't even drown him out anymore.  He is there even in my dreams now.  Not even sleep is the refuge it once was.  I just want it to end.  All of it.  

Only one of us is going to make out of this alive.  And right now, I'm not sure which one it will be...

When It Seems

When it seems no one is listening,
when it seems no one cares,
when it seems life is going nowhere,
when it seems no one is there,
remember there is always an ear that will listen,
a heart that will always care,
life can only go forward,
a true friend is ALWAYS there...

 
I thank my friends for their support.  For their ears and their tears.  This is not a journey that anyone wants, but it was given to me for a reason.  Not sure what that reason is yet, but I'm sure I will find out.  Someday.  

I WILL have good days, and

I WILL have even more bad days.  Please remember that I am not really mad at any of YOU. 

I WILL say things that may not make sense (word salad). 

I WILL do things that may not make sense.  Please be patient with me.  

I do not know how far or how long this will take.  I do not know how far or how long I can take this.  Right now, it's day by day.  Someday it will end.  Of this I AM sure. 

Many will not like how it will end, but it will. 

Hug your children
Listen to your children
Love your children
Trish